The word “holiness” makes you uncomfortable.
It sounds impossible. Outdated. Legalistic. Like something for super-spiritual people who never mess up—not for real women with real struggles.
You’ve tried to be “holy.” You made rules for yourself: No more gossip. No more Netflix binges. Read your Bible every day. Stop yelling at your kids. Be a better wife. Dress more modestly. Cut out that friendship. Stop eating so much.
But the harder you tried, the more you failed. And now you’re exhausted, guilty, and wondering if holiness is even possible for someone like you.
Here’s the truth: Biblical holiness has nothing to do with legalistic rule-keeping or trying harder to be good enough.
True holiness is about being set apart for God, transformed by His grace, and living in a way that reflects His character. It’s not about perfection—it’s about direction. Not about earning God’s love—but responding to it.
In this post, you’ll discover:
- What holiness actually means in Scripture
- Why God calls you to be holy
- The difference between legalism and true holiness
- How holiness is both God’s work and your obedience
- Practical steps to pursue holiness without legalism
Let’s clear away the confusion and discover what God really says about holy living.
What Does “Holy” Mean?
The word “holy” in Scripture comes from the Hebrew word qadosh (Old Testament) and Greek word hagios (New Testament). Both carry the same core meaning:
Holy = Set apart, consecrated, different, sacred
When something is holy, it’s separated from common use and dedicated to God’s purposes.
Think of it this way: You have everyday dishes and fine china. The everyday dishes are used for regular meals. But the fine china? That’s set apart for special occasions. It’s not “better” in terms of function—it’s just designated for a different, more sacred purpose.
That’s holiness. Being set apart for God’s purposes.
God’s Holiness: The Foundation
Before we talk about your holiness, we need to understand God’s holiness.
God’s holiness is His absolute moral perfection and complete separation from all sin and evil. He is perfectly pure, righteous, and good. There is no shadow of darkness in Him (1 John 1:5).
When Isaiah saw God’s holiness, he fell on his face crying, “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5 LSB). God’s holiness is so intense, so pure, that it exposes all our uncleanness.
The angels around God’s throne don’t sing “Loving, loving, loving is the Lord” (though He is loving). They don’t sing “Powerful, powerful, powerful” (though He is powerful).
They sing: “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord of hosts” (Isaiah 6:3 LSB).
Holiness is God’s defining attribute. Everything else flows from His holiness—His love, His justice, His mercy, His wrath against sin.
God’s Command: Be Holy
Now here’s where it gets personal. God doesn’t just call Himself holy—He commands you to be holy.
“For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy” (Leviticus 11:44 LSB).
This command is repeated throughout Scripture:
- “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy” (Leviticus 19:2 LSB)
- “But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy'” (1 Peter 1:15-16 LSB)
- “Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14 LSB)
Notice: This isn’t a suggestion. It’s a command. God calls every believer to holiness.
Why Does God Call Us to Be Holy?
1. Because we belong to Him
You are God’s possession. He bought you with the blood of His Son (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). When you belong to someone, you reflect them.
2. Because holiness is what we’re made for
Sin distorts us. Holiness restores us to who we were created to be—image-bearers of God.
3. Because our witness depends on it
The watching world needs to see a difference in Christians. If we look just like everyone else, why would they want what we have?
4. Because it’s for our good
God’s commands aren’t restrictions—they’re protection. Holiness leads to life, freedom, and joy. Sin leads to death, bondage, and misery.
5. Because Christ died to make us holy
Jesus didn’t die just to forgive you. He died to sanctify you—to make you holy (Ephesians 5:25-27).
Two Sides of Holiness: Positional and Progressive
Here’s where many Christians get confused. The Bible speaks of holiness in two ways:
1. Positional Holiness (Already Done)
The moment you trusted Christ, God declared you holy.
Paul writes to the Corinthians—a church full of messy, struggling believers—and calls them “those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling” (1 Corinthians 1:2 LSB).
You are a saint. Not because you’ve achieved perfection, but because Christ’s righteousness has been credited to you (2 Corinthians 5:21).
God sees you as holy in Christ. This is a done deal. It doesn’t depend on your performance.
2. Progressive Holiness (Ongoing Process)
While you’re already declared holy, you’re being made holy day by day.
This is the process of sanctification—growing in holiness, becoming more like Jesus, putting sin to death, and walking in righteousness.
“But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18 LSB).
Notice: Are being transformed. Present, ongoing action. It’s a process.
Here’s the balance: You are already holy in your position (justified, declared righteous). You are being made holy in your practice (sanctified, growing in righteousness). One day you will be perfectly holy (glorified, sinless forever).
Past: Justified (saved from sin’s penalty)
Present: Sanctified (being saved from sin’s power)
Future: Glorified (saved from sin’s presence)
Holiness vs. Legalism: Know the Difference
Many Christians reject the pursuit of holiness because they’ve seen legalism disguised as holiness. Let’s be crystal clear about the difference:
Legalism Says:
- “Follow these rules to earn God’s favor”
- “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t dance, don’t watch movies”
- “If you slip up, God is disappointed in you”
- “Holiness = external conformity to a list”
- “You’re not holy unless you dress a certain way, homeschool your kids, avoid certain music, etc.”
Legalism is man-made rules focused on outward behavior to earn acceptance.
True Holiness Says:
- “You’re already accepted because of Christ. Now live like who you are.”
- “Avoid sin because it harms you and grieves God who loves you”
- “When you fall, God’s grace picks you up. Confess, repent, move forward”
- “Holiness = inward transformation that produces outward change”
- “Let the Holy Spirit convict you personally—don’t judge others by your convictions”
True holiness is Spirit-led obedience motivated by love and grace.
Paul’s Warning Against Legalism
Paul addressed this directly when the Colossians started adding rules:
“If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, ‘Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!’… These are matters which have, to be sure, a reputation of wisdom in self-made religion and humility and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence” (Colossians 2:20-23 LSB).
Translation: External rules don’t produce internal transformation. Only the Spirit does.
How Does Holiness Actually Happen?
So if legalism doesn’t work, how do you actually become holy?
The answer is both simple and profound: Holiness is God’s work in you and your obedience with Him.
God’s Part: He Sanctifies You
Holiness begins with God’s work, not yours.
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 LSB).
God sanctifies you through:
- His Word: “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth” (John 17:17 LSB)
- The Holy Spirit: “But we should always give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth” (2 Thessalonians 2:13 LSB)
- Trials: Suffering produces endurance, character, and Christ-likeness (Romans 5:3-5)
You cannot make yourself holy through willpower. Only God can transform your heart.
Your Part: Cooperate with God
But—and this is crucial—God doesn’t sanctify you against your will. You must cooperate.
“Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is working in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13 LSB).
Notice: God is working in you and you are working out what He’s working in. Both are true.
Your responsibility in holiness:
1. Put off sin (Mortification)
“Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5 LSB).
This is active warfare against sin. You must put sin to death. It won’t die on its own.
2. Put on righteousness (Vivification)
“Put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him” (Colossians 3:10 LSB).
It’s not enough to stop sinning. You must replace sinful patterns with righteous ones.
Practical Steps to Pursue Holiness
Let’s get practical. How do you actually live this out day by day?
1. Saturate Yourself in God’s Word
You cannot become holy without knowing what God says. His Word is the standard of holiness and the means of sanctification.
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word” (Psalm 119:9 LSB).
Action steps:
- Read your Bible daily (even 10 minutes makes a difference)
- Memorize Scripture that addresses your specific struggles
- Meditate on truth throughout the day
2. Walk in the Spirit
The Christian life isn’t about trying harder—it’s about trusting deeper.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16 LSB).
Action steps:
- Start your day surrendered: “Holy Spirit, fill me. Lead me. I can’t do this without You.”
- Throughout the day, ask: “What does the Spirit want me to do right now?”
- When tempted, pray immediately: “Spirit, give me strength to obey.”
3. Identify Your Specific Sin Patterns
Holiness requires honesty. What are your besetting sins?
- Gossip?
- Sexual sin (pornography, fantasy, lust)?
- Pride?
- Anger and bitterness?
- Lying or deception?
- Laziness?
- Gluttony?
- Materialism and greed?
Action steps:
- Confess specific sins (not just “I’m a sinner” but “I sinned by…”)
- Identify triggers that lead you into sin
- Create barriers: If you struggle with Netflix binges, cancel the subscription. If you struggle with phone addiction, set time limits.
- Replace the sin with righteousness (if you struggle with gossip, practice encouragement instead)
4. Get Radical About What You Allow in Your Life
Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you” (Matthew 5:29 LSB).
He’s not talking about literal mutilation. He’s saying: Whatever feeds your sin must go. No exceptions.
Questions to ask:
- What am I watching that’s normalizing sin in my mind?
- What music am I listening to that’s influencing my thoughts?
- Who am I spending time with who pulls me away from God?
- What apps or websites am I using that lead me to temptation?
If something causes you to sin, cut it off. Yes, even if everyone else does it. Your holiness matters more than cultural acceptance.
5. Pursue Accountability
Sin thrives in secrecy. Holiness grows in community.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (James 5:16 LSB).
Action steps:
- Find one trusted, mature Christian woman and ask her to hold you accountable
- Give her permission to ask you hard questions
- Be brutally honest about your struggles
- Meet regularly (weekly if possible)
6. Practice the Spiritual Disciplines
Holiness requires intentional habits:
- Prayer: Regular conversation with God keeps you aligned with Him
- Fasting: Denying the flesh trains you to say no to desires
- Solitude: Quiet time away from distractions to hear God
- Worship: Focused adoration shifts your affections toward God
- Service: Serving others kills selfishness and pride
7. Remember Grace When You Fall
You will stumble. You will fail. You will sin.
But “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 LSB).
Don’t let guilt keep you away from God. Run to Him, not away from Him.
When you sin:
- Confess immediately (don’t let it fester)
- Repent (turn away from the sin)
- Receive God’s forgiveness (don’t wallow in guilt)
- Get up and keep pursuing holiness
The pursuit of holiness isn’t about perfection—it’s about direction. Are you moving toward God or away from Him?
What Holiness Looks Like in Real Life
Holiness isn’t just avoiding sin. It’s actively pursuing God and reflecting His character.
Here’s what practical holiness looks like:
- In your mind: Choosing to think on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable (Philippians 4:8)
- In your speech: Speaking truth, encouragement, and grace instead of gossip, slander, or crude jokes
- In your relationships: Forgiving quickly, loving sacrificially, honoring others above yourself
- In your sexuality: Purity in thought and action, faithfulness in marriage, self-control in singleness
- In your work: Excellence, integrity, and diligence as unto the Lord
- In your finances: Generosity, contentment, and stewardship instead of greed and materialism
- In your home: Creating a space that honors God, where Jesus is welcome
The Beauty of Holiness
Here’s what the world won’t tell you: Holiness is beautiful. Holiness is freedom. Holiness is joy.
Sin promises pleasure but delivers bondage. Holiness may require sacrifice, but it leads to life.
“For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:8 LSB).
When you walk in holiness:
- Your conscience is clear
- Your prayers aren’t hindered
- Your relationships thrive
- Your witness is powerful
- Your joy is full
- You experience intimacy with God
The world sees holiness as restriction. But it’s actually liberation—freedom from sin’s power and freedom to live as you were created to live.
Your Call to Holiness
You are called to be holy—not because God is disappointed in you, but because He loves you too much to leave you in sin.
He’s not asking you to be perfect. He’s asking you to be yielded.
He’s not demanding you clean yourself up before you come to Him. He’s inviting you to come as you are and let Him transform you.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification” (1 Thessalonians 4:3 LSB).
God’s will for you is holiness. Not someday. Not when you’re older or more mature. Now.
Stop making excuses. Stop settling for lukewarm Christianity. Stop believing the lie that holiness is impossible.
The same God who commands holiness provides the power to live it.
“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy” (Jude 1:24 LSB).
He is able. Trust Him. Obey Him. Pursue Him.
And watch as He makes you holy.
What’s one area where God is calling you to greater holiness? Share in the comments—your honesty might encourage another woman to take the next step.
Related Posts:
- How to Overcome Sexual Sin as a Christian Woman
- Renewing Your Mind: How to Change Your Thought Patterns
- Spiritual Warfare 101: What Every Christian Woman Needs to Know
Scripture quotations are from the Legacy Standard Bible (LSB), Copyright © 2021 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved.
